Post with 31 notes
Light as a freakin’ feather.
Oh my god. I feel like I haven’t a care in the world right now. Tim finally agreed to the custody arrangement…which means, we agree on everything. Everything. So we just have to sign in front of a notary and we can file jointly, making everything way less expensive and less time-consuming. That’s saying something since we’ve been apart since July. I am so relieved. I was so stressed and worried I was going to have to be the biggest bitch and get a lawyer and waste all that money. SIIIIGH, yes. This is perfect. Then after we sign,file, and pay, it’s just a 4 month waiting game for it to be finalized. I have tears in my eyes. It’s finally happening. It’s not a bloody battle anymore, sure he is still hurt and sour but it’s not hateful and a war. Mutual understanding. Willingness to work together as much as possible. I knew he would come around soon enough, and he would finally be reasonable.
Post with 3 notes
I’ve decided to keep writing in the pregnancy journal I kept…hopefully then when Ellie reads it when shes older, she’ll be able to understand where I was coming from during this whole spiel with me and Tim. I wont explain everything, of course, I don’t want her view on him to change but I want her to get how I came to the decision to get divorced. And I’m hoping it will ease the hatred she might feel towards me as a teenager. I also want to write about my life and what I’m going through…because I really would’ve liked something like that to read from my mom. How interesting would that be? To know your mom’s thoughts and feelings she was young. That’s my resolution I guess, to write in the journal as much as possible about everything. Shes not getting it until shes mentally old enough to handle it…and that might be 18…or 40.
Post with 37 notes
Oh Fuck my life.
My husband won’t stop trying to get me back even though I don’t love him, and he insists that I do love him and I am just trying to suppress this feeling because I’ll feel weak if I give in and let him back in my life. That just pisses me off. Don’t tell me how I feel, you don’t know how I feel…actually…he should know how I feel because I tell him almost everyday. I don’t love him. It was his actions that led me to not love him anymore. I can’t get past it. Yes, the past is past…but I cannot forget it. He will always be “that man” to me. We cannot start fresh.
He won’t give up. Ever. and that kills me. I just want to start over and move on. Live and love my life without him. I’m hoping counseling will help him see that it’s ok to just let go, and that I’m not crazy. ugh.
Bloody battle begins
Last night my soon-to-be-ex-husband decided he was going to try to throw some shit in my face, probably to scare me back into a relationship with him. He texted me saying, oh by the way I’m getting a new phone and plan on monday so you might wanna think about finding another one also. blah blah. and also said shit like, so how’s the truck on gas? ya know, just being an all around jerk. So now I have to see if I can change my plan and keep my current contract so I don’t get stuck with the early termination fee since his phone is up like now, and mine isn’t until next year. I knew this was going to turn ugly. Well. I have the upper hand in this divorce, and I don’t think he realizes it yet. He seems to think he’s getting Ellie every holiday. EVERY holiday. Excuse me? No you’re not. and the only thing I’ve asked for out of everything we own is the iMac. That’s it. But if he keeps being like this, hey, I need a vehicle…I can make the payments and insurance for myself…I might just take the truck. There’s no way he’s getting Ellie MORE than what he does now. He gets her every weekend, thursday night through sunday afternoon. and he’s off work every day he has her. I work 2 days that I have her. I don’t think he understands how lucky he is and how reasonable I’m being. Do not make this into a battle hunny…you will not win.
