Post with 3 notes
I’ve decided to keep writing in the pregnancy journal I kept…hopefully then when Ellie reads it when shes older, she’ll be able to understand where I was coming from during this whole spiel with me and Tim. I wont explain everything, of course, I don’t want her view on him to change but I want her to get how I came to the decision to get divorced. And I’m hoping it will ease the hatred she might feel towards me as a teenager. I also want to write about my life and what I’m going through…because I really would’ve liked something like that to read from my mom. How interesting would that be? To know your mom’s thoughts and feelings she was young. That’s my resolution I guess, to write in the journal as much as possible about everything. Shes not getting it until shes mentally old enough to handle it…and that might be 18…or 40.
When Ellie wakes up at like 5:30am and is all giddy, while I’m all groggy and ugggghhh, and then not only an HOUR LATER she is laying down on her blankie and snuggling with it because she’s tired. I WOULD’VE GLADLY SPENT MORE TIME IN BED IF YOU ARE TIRED MY DARLING DAUGHTER!!!!! But then, of course, when I put her in her crib for a nap, she starts screaming.
I can’t win with this one. I’m thinking this is close to how she’s going to be when she’s 13. You know, when I try to cuddle her and put a nook in her mouth.
